What a month it was.
It felt and still feels like it was a time out of time. Does it make sense ?
It went by so fast, and at the same time it felt like slow motion.
I don’t remember the beginning of the month, but have very clear memories from the 11th. I had just entered our apartment, went to wash my hands and started to feel dizzy. I went to drink a glass of water and still felt dizzy. Then I looked up and saw the ceiling lamp swaying gently. After a quick check, every single hanging thing was swaying. It was so very strange. I sat down and thought for a minute that it was over, but as I checked the ceiling, the lamp was still moving. More than 2 minutes had passed.
I used to live in a region with very frequent earthquakes. A few a week. Then we moved to Kyoto where I only felt 3 of them in 2 years. Usually, your common earthquake starts strong, lasts for 20, 30 seconds, sometimes just a bit more, and then stops. This one was so incredibly long. It felt more like an underground wave than an earthquake.
When it finally stopped, I knew something big must have happened because such a slow shaking over a few minutes couldn’t be a good sign. I switched the TV on to discover that every single channel was in alert mode, the tsunami alert having already been issued and the whole coastline being at risk. I stayed like that, a bit awestuck until the evening, as I watched the tragedy unfold in front of my eyes in the safety of my living room. Mails were sent, lots of them. Then mails started to come, the phone started to ring.
G. got back home in the evening, having felt the quake, but without knowing exactly what had happened. And we stayed there, stuck to the TV, for 2 days straight, trying to process the images on the screen.
That was the beginning of March in my memory.
So, a whole lot happened in March, among which
- Friends came to live with us for a while
- Family came to live with us for a while
- I cooked and cooked, and cooked some more
- I cried a lot at other people’s loss and misfortune
- I got angry a lot at how the crisis was sometimes handled
- I cried some more
- I prayed a lot, asked dear friends and family to send good thoughts for the people in Tohoku
- I was amazed and comforted by people’s good heart
- I prepared an emergency bag. The one we have been talking about for years, and never quite got around packing.
- I listened to a lot of French pop.
- I caught a nasty cold just after our friends left.
But most of all, I think March got me grateful. Grateful for friends and family, for a roof above my head, a warm bed at night, a job, and drinkable tap water. Grateful also for the amazing amount of love we’ve felt. And curiously maybe, March also got me hopeful. The immediate response from people all over the world, the burst of kindness and generosity, all these reminded me of the sheer amount of good there is in the world.
We’ve just started to settle back in a more “normal” daily life. April is here, marking the beginning of the fiscal and school year. Cherry trees are in bloom. My heart is quite full and I feel…a bit restless. I suspect a lot of reorganizing and making is going to take place in April. For now, I just want to take my camera out and keep on recording this beautiful season.
(Edit: just as I was writing this post, the apartment started to shake. It turns out another big earthquake just hit Fukushima. All is fine here in Kyoto, but my thoughts go to all the evacuees and the people in the northern regions.)